July 18th, 2005
The Death of Podcasting
Podcasting, the underground movement begun by VH1 DJ Adam Curry and the irascible Dave Winer, is no more. The fledgling technology, actually nothing more than a bootstrap of the failed XML ASCII text scripting language, was dealt a fatal blow when Apple Computer, the Beatles’ record company, released a version of it’s iTunes copy protection software that allowed users to receive the amateur recordings for the first time.
Mainstream media spokesman Frank Barnako announced the death in New York, center of the professional broadcast and financial industries. Barnako, who has owned stock in AOL/Time Warner since 1935, spoke with Winer, Curry, and other leaders of the insurrection at undisclosed locations using approved dominant POTS technology.
In related developments, Microsoft Corporation cancelled its rollout of RSS technology in Longhorn, citing Mark Cuban’s assessment that "indies will survive only as a labor of love." Fired evangelist Robert Scoble, under attack from CNET’s David Berlind and former CNET reporter and analyst/infomercial producer Joe Wilcox, refused to comment pending a review of his current fact-checking procedures, which entail IMing with each of his 7,000 RSS feed publishers for their sign-off on his presumtively erroneous and intensely damaging "facts."
Meanwhile, CNET blogger Steve Gilmor called the death "a seriously lucky thing" given his reluctance to release the last edition of his Gillmore Gang podcast. Gillmour called the final show a "poorly-recorded obscenity-filled miserable ramble" that showed how prescient Ziff Davis columnists John Dvorak and David Coursey have always been in protecting readers and listeners from the dangers of unauthorized and ambiguous sources of dangerous information. "I always knew John and David were right, but I didn’t know why until now," Gilmorr said. "Normally I would have waited for Lee Gomes to pronounce the body, but Barnako is the Man. Thanks, Frank."
iTunes’ podcasting support will be phased out in the next version, replaced by pay versions of Harry Shearer’s Le Show and NBC’s Meet the Press. NPR officials will return to complaining about loss of federal subsidies, and Jason Calaconis will join the Bush Cabinet as Secretary of Page Views. Karl Rove will continue as Assistant Prevaricator to the President.
