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August 23rd, 2009

When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat

Posted by Jason Perlow @ 9:15 am

Categories: Business, General, Networking, Personal Technology, Web Technology

Tags: Jason Perlow, Spam Spam, Dilusso Pepperoni, Cyberthreats, Spam, E-mail, Security, Spam And Phishing, Online Communications

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAMMITY SPAM! WONDERFUL SPAM! (Photo by Jason Perlow)

About a week ago I wrote an post about why I felt the United States Postal Service (USPS) needed a complete overhaul on how it handled bulk marketing materials — aka junk mail. In it I referred to junk mail as “Physical SPAM”, to make an analogy to many of the unwanted unsolicited emails that we all receive every day which slips through even the best of electronic filtering systems.

Click on the “Read the rest of this entry” link below for more.

Well, a few days ago, I received the following communication from the Hormel Foods company:

I was somewhat taken aback by this. I mean, didn’t everyone use the word SPAM? In full capitalization? Well, if all Hormel was asking for was to change the word to lower caps, I guess it wasn’t unreasonable to comply with their request. It didn’t seem like a big deal. So I did it.

However, I think it begs the greater question of why do we call bulk unsolicited emails “spam” in the first place? And why should we continue to do this? For those of you not old enough to remember, it all started with a television segment by the British comedy troupe Monty Python, broadcast in 1970:

The use of the word “Spam” to describe unsolicited bulk electronic messages actually pre-dates the Internet, on 1980s Bulletin Board Systems (BBS), when obnoxious posters familiar with the Python sketch would append the words SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM ad nauseum to the end of a message in order to slow down the reading of the messages on the system. In the early 80’s these BBS systems used dial-in analog telephone modems that transmitted at 300-1200bps (bits per second, extremely slow compared to today’s multi-megabit-range standards) so watching “SPAM SPAM SPAM” scroll across the screen a few hundred times and actually seeing each character spit out in a seemingly never-ending uninterrupted scroll was extremely annoying.

Back then, many bulletin board systems and early Personal Computers (such as the Radio Shack TRS-80 and the Apple ][) and teletype systems prior to ROM updates that permitted the use of lowercase used character sets with ALLCAPS, so THERE WAS NO OPTION OF USING LOWER CASE VERSIONS OF THE WORD “SPAM”. Years later, “Spam” is now meant to describe any unwanted electronic communication of a commercial or nefarious nature (such as advance-fee 419s fraud schemes sent from Nigeria and other countries) sent in bulk.

Now, I’m not a fan of the SPAM product. But there are certainly a lot of people who are, particularly the entire State of Hawaii, which just trailing the US territory of Guam, consumes more SPAM than any place in the entire world, over 13 cans per per person per year. In fact, they have an entire dish created to use the product, SPAM Musubi, and there are variants of the very tasty dish Loco Moco served throughout the islands which include a slice of SPAM in it. In Hawaii, Guam and Saipan, McDonalds and Burger King both serve SPAM on their menus. It is hugely popular in Okinawa, Japan, Korea as well as in the Philippines and other Pacific island nations. And if you believe the sketch, Great Britain.

I can certainly understand why Hormel would not want to mar its reputation by associating itself with unwanted email messages. I mean let’s face it, we all hate Spam, and while my own culinary tastes do not include the SPAM gelatinous processed pork product, I do like many of Hormel’s products, particularly their high-end Dilusso line, which includes their very good Genoa Salami, perhaps one of the best in the entire industry, and is a core component of any well-made Italian Sub.  Dilusso Pepperoni is also one of the best-made in the entire business and I can’t think of any other that I’d rather have to adorn my pizza.

After all these years, I think that Hormel deserves a break. Maybe we need a new word for Bulk Unsolicited Email Messages. Like “BUEM” or USIMI (Unsolicited Shit In My Inbox). Or even e-Junk or e-Crud.

What say you? Can we give Hormel a break? Can we find a new word for Spam? Talk Back and Let Me Know.

Jason PerlowJason Perlow is a technologist with over two decades of experience integrating large heterogeneous multi-vendor computing environments in Fortune 500 companies. See his full profile and disclosure of his industry affiliations.

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  • Talkback
  • Most Recent of 193 Talkback(s)
How about BUM-essages? (NT)
. (Read the rest)
Posted by: soapymac@... Posted on: 09/09/09 You are currently: a Guest | | Terms of Use
My Hovercraft is full of eels  DannyO_0x98 | 08/23/09
My Vote  DannyO_0x98 | 08/23/09
It's a shame  Mihi Nomen Est | 08/24/09
Oh, okay, already!  lalogos | 08/24/09
Tubeless Internet  Timewellwasted | 08/24/09
no tubes?  Opcom_ | 08/24/09
No Tubes?  Hate Malware | 08/24/09
Tubes  getrealnow | 08/25/09
mmmm...  tomwnichols | 08/25/09
now we have a scholar at work  ozerob | 08/25/09
Make ye haste bretheren!  Bacon 3000 | 08/25/09
Tubes? We don't need no stinkin tubes.  Bacon 3000 | 08/25/09
not amish, but not american english either  rivardau | 08/25/09
spam by any other name... and don't bash the Amish  ozerob | 08/25/09
Alternate term to "spam".  scoleman@... | 08/24/09
uh huh  fairportfan | 09/09/09
Mean Dregs and Spam  mgp3 | 08/23/09
food coloring does the trick  pcguy777 | 08/24/09
humm . . .  CobraA1 | 08/23/09
Got it.  briana.delaney@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  mcwong | 08/23/09
And for the email side  mgp3 | 08/23/09
what's not to like...  ozerob | 08/25/09
SPAM  bearmtbill | 08/24/09
ORRRR . . . .  JLHenry | 08/24/09
Looks like...  Cosmo54 | 08/23/09
Surprisingly tasty  Dorkyman | 08/23/09
I'm sure I've eaten it.  jperlowZDNet Moderator | 08/23/09
Wow! HERE'S an announcement I don't recall seeing...  mgp3 | 08/23/09
And in Pennsylvania  Michael Kelly | 08/24/09
Pennsy Spam  bobzaguy | 08/24/09
Or try . . .  JLHenry | 08/24/09
Ate it at summer camp for years . . .  pikeman666 | 08/25/09
Check out the USPTO  davebarnes | 08/23/09
SPAM use as name  ozerob | 08/25/09
It must be the silly season.  Mac Hosehead | 08/23/09
vegemite vs peanut butter  ozerob | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  Capt_Sparky | 08/24/09
SPAM vs. spam vs. Spam  geoff@... | 08/24/09
SPAM  becabill@... | 08/24/09
Don't forget the "processed cheese food product"  lalogos | 08/24/09
LOL  nfhiggs@... | 08/24/09
MW  bobzaguy | 08/24/09
miracle whip or worse...  ozerob | 08/25/09
They may . . .  JLHenry | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  dbarr@... | 08/24/09
Well, I guess I should have expected that...  dbarr@... | 08/24/09
SCO owns the patent on that!  lalogos | 08/24/09
or did Al Gore invent it? ...  lalogos | 08/24/09
**** should become mainstream  ozerob | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  bob@... | 08/24/09
Sorry, Hormel, I think SPAM just fits the bill ...  lalogos | 08/24/09
the problem with your analogy...  Snark Shark | 08/24/09
My analogy ...  lalogos | 08/24/09
RE: Sorry, Hormel, I think SPAM just fits the bill ...  Olden D. Kreppit | 08/24/09
Poor Hormel ... (but they started it!)  lalogos | 08/24/09
No, it does not beg the question  Vesicant | 08/24/09
Thank you!  jhlakey@... | 08/24/09
Let's just call it...  TaDaH | 08/24/09
Sperm Mail....  VONDRASHEK@... | 08/24/09
yea right...  bobzaguy | 08/24/09
One Definition that Works  engy | 08/24/09
TAB  lalogos | 08/24/09
TaB  bobzaguy | 08/24/09
I like USIMI but...  Steve Goldman | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  shenry1307 | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  teweir@... | 08/24/09
RE: RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  Olden D. Kreppit | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  lamm@... | 08/24/09
Copyright Dilution  InspectorGadget | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  djhs@... | 08/24/09
email  becabill@... | 08/24/09
properly: UCE  mike acker | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  Maxwell's Demon | 08/24/09
I like SPAM  websquad | 08/24/09
SPAM I AM!  lalogos | 08/24/09
Hormel Foods did what they wanted  zedman2006 | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  jgwrig45@... | 08/24/09
ClickaNerd - KILL SPAM  ClickaNerd2 | 08/24/09
E-Crap  zedman2006 | 08/24/09
some back ground and writing etiquette  pfyearwood | 08/24/09
No tripe in SPAM(c) canned-"meat" product  lalogos | 08/26/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  tech_ed@... | 08/24/09
Superfluous Particularly Annoying Messages  escapepod | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  buttonsale@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  wfelter2000@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  taylor@... | 08/24/09
I like SPAM and hate the junk mail, too.  lwhitehall@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  rwlewis@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  michael@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  dlesicki@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  tbnorris@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  ironguy47@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  PC Repair | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  fuller.artful@... | 08/24/09
So as long as we are in a protectionist mood, what about "bug"  gardoglee | 08/24/09
Speaking of which...  JCitizen | 08/24/09
Bug  Hate Malware | 08/24/09
I like your moniker...  JCitizen | 08/27/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  Simmo68 | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  kissimkid | 08/24/09
The Reason for the Hormel E-mail  mlibrescu4 | 08/24/09
You hit that one on the money, I'd bet!...(nt)  JCitizen | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  Bobtheil | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  desizemo@... | 08/24/09
new term for internet spam  rroberto18 | 08/24/09
SPAM Replacement~  stephen-dash@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  stand3 | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  jonsymes@... | 08/24/09
Two Words....  Àvatar | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  The Rog | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  scoleman@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  brianscook | 08/24/09
Not Spam? How about SPEW  blairwolf | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  jamusdouglus | 08/24/09
When you want to say SPAM, say SNOT!  gaelicfog@... | 08/24/09
RE Say Snot  Daschmi | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  sarnold51 | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  reenlene | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  Bill Rathbun | 08/24/09
What about this...  tylerAWells | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  petermcintosh4@... | 08/24/09
There is no such thing as bad publicity  wapi | 08/24/09
Yeah..Lets call it.....  danr@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  kashcomp | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  jjrent@... | 08/24/09
How about:  Timewellwasted | 08/24/09
Spam is bad for you  Randalllind | 08/24/09
Sorry, Hormel. It's too late. Love/hate?  fjpoblam | 08/24/09
Junk pork meat...  sykandtyed | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  frozenoem@... | 08/24/09
Re: Spam.. some imagination, please!  ajn465 | 08/24/09
crybabies  InspectorGadget | 08/24/09
Might I suggest BUM!  w4htx@... | 08/24/09
has "skank" -mail been trademarked yet?  rbubb2@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  strat@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  wrenchmonkey | 08/24/09
Simple answer: Bulk Unsolicted Mail or BUM  jpgeorgia | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  imcbook@... | 08/24/09
a bit late now the horse has bolted  Lez Bean | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  dianecmiles@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  wudcanu@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  ctkoz@... | 08/24/09
C.R.A.P  Hate Malware | 08/24/09
What to call it.  monei011 | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  themonk@... | 08/24/09
Bums  vilppuu@... | 08/24/09
The anti spam movement reminded me how much i liked it  pcguy777 | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  johluc | 08/24/09
I spam don't see any spam problem.  montymorton | 08/24/09
Re: Hormel = evil anyway, so go for it  brandon.weber@... | 08/24/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  vilppuu@... | 08/24/09
SCAM instead of SPAM  NZJester | 08/24/09
AGREED  Timewellwasted | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  mork452 | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  mork452 | 08/25/09
No!  nospam@... | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  steve_jonesuk@... | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  PaulGee | 08/25/09
well I call it "GUNK" ...  steamPunk | 08/25/09
Re: GUNK.....  Disgruntled M$ User | 08/25/09
TOO LATE  verd@... | 08/25/09
WAY too late. Besides, societies change word defintions every other week..  HypnoToad72 | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  rivardau | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  Popsprice | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  stammersp3@... | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  GMTobias | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  Hank.Bresler@... | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  naldrich | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  wiersmajd | 08/25/09
Let's call it "Government Reform"  wiersmajd | 08/25/09
Good Luck on renaming spam  CaptOska | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  reyster1@... | 08/25/09
try reading the article  rahbm | 08/26/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  captain50@... | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  ervasti | 08/25/09
folded like a deck of cards  dcason@... | 08/25/09
POURRIEL=e-merde  mateokow@... | 08/25/09
Mmmmmmmm...  UsernameRequired | 08/25/09
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM  thomasnruth@... | 08/25/09
How about UCE?  Tony R. | 08/25/09
I thought it was SPAMM  fernande-zdnet | 08/25/09
Good job, Jason!  Rick S._z | 08/25/09
Actually  jperlowZDNet Moderator | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  brightbeam333@... | 08/25/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  drednot57 | 08/25/09
"Call it what it is..."  El Condor | 08/26/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  DXMage | 08/26/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  mukashi@... | 08/26/09
E-BS  gem8055 | 08/26/09
RE: When you say SPAM, it had better mean canned luncheon meat  robert.grabowski@... | 08/27/09
UCE  oldbaritone | 08/31/09
How about BUM-essages? (NT)  soapymac@... | 09/09/09

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