July 1st, 2008
Pssst! ... wanna save up to 40 percent on a robotic massage chair?
Okay, I know I’m going to get flamed for furthering ethnic stereotypes, but I have to admit, us Jews love a good bargain. So I’m going to risk getting my butt chewed because I feel compelled to play yiddische consumer advocate.
As some of you may know, gadget and techno-stuff catalog retailer The Sharper Image is going out of business. I know, it’s sad, but the void will be filled by SkyMall, Hammacher-Schlemmer, and a number of other conspicuous consumption-oriented businesses. Don’t worry, there will be someone else to supply you with Titanium-plated barbecue tool sets, motorized tie racks, solar powered wine coolers, and underwater iPod cases. You won’t have any trouble getting that loved one who already has everything yet another gadget they can let collect dust on the shelf. Mea culpa, I’ve bought more than my share of Sharper Image catalog and store merchandise over the years. Men just love their toys.
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The particular Sharper Image toy I always wanted, however, always seemed just out of reach for my budget. I’m talking about those awesome Human Touch robotic massage chairs. You know, the one where you visit the store, sit down in the chair, hit the start button, and before you know it, 30 minutes later, your wife has returned from across the mall with bags of shoes and her new fall wardrobe. But it doesn’t phase you a bit, because your entire body has melted and you’ve been turned into jelly. After the first five minutes of pain, where your back is kneaded like pizza dough, and you’ve given into the robot, you just don’t want to get out.
I could never complete the sale, though. The chairs start at around $2000 and work their way up. However, yesterday I picked one up from my local Sharper Image going-out-of-business sale for 40 percent off — a catalog item that originally cost $2000.00, the HT-275 massage chair. A steal at $1200.00. With original factory warranty and everything. I just had to drag it home from the store myself, there are no delivery options anymore.
I can’t guarantee you’ll be able to get that exact model — there are various different models Sharper Image sells and they only can sell you what is in the store, whether it be remaining stock or a floor sample. So if you want one of these babies, get in there quick.
Have you ever felt the joy of a robot’s kneading hands on your rear end? Talk Back and let me know.
Jason Perlow is a technologist with over two decades of experience integrating large heterogeneous multi-vendor computing environments in Fortune 500 companies. See his full profile and disclosure of his industry affiliations.
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